off the thought plsss

It's not good to have this feeling.. not nice!
Feeling like you miss someone who are not suppose to be missed!
Used to be a very very good friend, ya I guess ;)

Shit!

Please please Allah help me..
Off the things that I dont want now...
All I want is to love & to be loved by hubby, miqa, friends & entire family..

citer miqa lagi..aishhh

Things getting okay now at my workplace, after some demarcation of works been done, we be more focus and no such things like taichi sane sini! ;) Though no longer be under previous big boss, En Azizi, still we always see each other, I'm not sad for that anymore! En Azizi always said that our team is a special team and I always bear it in my mind....huhuhuhu...

Ok forget about work!

Today Miqa wake me up with a very 'nice' smell! Bole pagi2 cenonet aku tu 'berry'! Hahaha.. rasenye spnjg 4 bulan lebih die hidup dgn aku, ini baru 1st time die berak pagi2 buta! Nak tegelak pun ade sbb die buat muke tak suke! Perhaps the things inside his pampers disturbing his sleep and he like merengek2 sampai la aku angkat die smula from his playpan! Bile da angkat senyap and pandang2 washroom seem like minta aku tolong cucikan buntut die! hahahhaha... What a clever boy!! Siap cuci his smile and speak his own languange.... Agaknye die nk ckp thanks mummy cucikan berak miqa! hahhahahahhahahah........

Sampai ke ofis, I still can see his smile in my mind.. aishh..miqa buat mummy gile bayang!

my 4 month miqa..

Ape yg budak berumur 4 bulan tgh fikir skrg? Aku slalu tertanya2 bile miqa pandang aku. Ape yg die ckp dlm hati mase tgk aku pandang die? Hopefully ish mummy aku ni cute pulak! Ke hai makcik ni x habis2 membebel, bising ar! hahhahahahhaha.... okla whatever that he whispered inside his heart, mind.... I believe it's something miracle that God had created us. Setiap hari Miqa improve emotionally. Example, aku pegang botol susu die n letak depan die and see his reaction. Biasenye kaki die menggelitis gelitis which is tandanye die nak susu. Tapi semalam bile aku tunjuk botol susu kat die, die buat bunyi merengek. Aku try bagi then die tolak2 puting botol susu tu dgn lidah which mean die xnak. 'Aik mummy ni kan aku da merengek rengek td, aku xnak la tu' - assuming that he said that to me ;0

This entry is actually to wish happy 4 months anniversary to my only miqa.
Mummy always love you. You are always be my baby....
Dah besar nanti mummy x harap ape2 dari miqa, cuma mummy harap mummy bole beri pelajaran n didikan yg sempurna & baik untuk miqa sbb mummy percaya didikan yang sempurna & baik sahajelah yang boleh membentuk miqa menjadi a good person.

ameen.

Being a Mother..Learning as I go ;)

Saat melihat dua jalur garisan pada pregnancy test 1 hari sebelum umat Islam meraikan Aidilfitri 2009 yg lalu, aku & hubby bagai di awang awangan ;p, mcm x percaye aku bakal bergelar ibu. Sungguh! Padahal bende tulah aku selalu doakan dan rungutkan pada hubby after 1 year and half we got married. Mule2 baru kawin, xdelah aku stress psl anak tapi bile kawan2 & family dok asyik tanya timbul pula rase berkobar2 nak ade zuriat sendiri. Tengok orang lain happy dengan anak masing2 aku pun teringin jugak! Lumrah manusia kan.... tak pernah puas dan bersyukur dengan ape yang ade....

Tapi walau mcmanepun, aku tetap bersyukur, Alhamdulillah...sekurang2 nye penantian aku & hubby nak bergelar parents dah termakbul.. Hurm, family aku lah yg paling excited mase tu!

Speaking of nightmares while in pregnancy..I read some one experience vivid dreams. Seeing how I was one of those people who dreamt weird dreams beforehand, I wasn’t sure how more vivid it could get….well it did... 1st trimester - betul org kate perempuan mengandung ni ragamnye lain2. Aku punyer sickness mmg jatuh kpd kategori teruk la jugak, itu pun aku x layan sgt kalau dilayan maunye aku amik unpaid leave 9 bulan! Aku punyer ragam, asal mkn je muntah, asal mkn je muntah! Mkn x boleh lambat kalau tak muntah lah aku spnjg hari tu! Pastu asyik mengantuk je dan perangai malas MasyAllah menjd2, mengalahkan anak raja nk dilayannye! Smpaikan nk on radio kerete pun aku suh hubby tekankan butang switch on tu! Tp aku control jugklah perangai ngade2 tu sbb hubby mase tu keje dkt Tganu so kitorg jmpe weekend je kan! Sape nk layan woo kalau hari2 aku buat prangai gitu! Tp time aku xleh lupe, stiap kali nk balik and pegi keje nk redah jammed tu bolehlah aku termuntah, mujur standby plastik tepi tmpat duduk, terus tgn kiri amik plastik and at the same time tgn kanan pegang stereng kete! Uwek uwek uwek aku muntah smpai org lorong sebelah duk usha2... Lama2 dah jd immune dah ;p hehhee...

2nd trimester - barulah mood aku OK and semangat nk mkn kembali normal. Dah dtg nafsu makan, ha brat bdn pun naik lah 5 kilo! Tapi ramai org cakap perut aku kecik lagi smpaikan aku dah pregnant 6 bulan pun budak2 ofis ramai x prasan 'kebuyunganku'! Apakah! Bile pegi check up, doctor ckp OK je, aku normal cume hemoglobin aku je la rendah. Bab tu mmg dari zaman ank darah lg aku mmg x bole derma darah sbbkan low hemoglobin tu kan.. itu mmg xde excuse lah! Aku makan sebaldi kerang pun darah aku mmg gitu... tapi doctor bg la jugak iron supplements plus other supplements untuk aku and baby dalam perut dpt energy! hehehh. Waktu ni jugak, aku enjoy pegi travel, Tganu & Penang! Hurm...menikmati seafood dkt Tganu & pasembor dkt Penang mmg x kanh aku lupekan! Buknye x penah makan semua2 tu tp makan waktu mengandung aku rse macm 1001 nikmat la! ececece.. Tapi yg lecehnye tabiat muntah aku x berkurang langsung! Kali ni, kalau aku makan byk, mesti terkeluar separuh! ;p Hubby dgn pak mentua geleng2 kepala je la.. Rugi rugi rugi..makan ketam 150 hengget!

3rd trimester - Masuk 8 bulan mood aku nk cuti bersalin membuak2. Buat keje pun xde semngt! Ksian boss aku terpksalah hadap aku yg asyik MC je. Dlm 2 minggu msti aku MC satu hari! hehehe... btul wei aku da start sakit pinggang, ada carpal turnel syndrome, muntah2 tetappppp... kali ni kdg2 tgh ketawa pun, tetibe telan air liur aku da berlari cari singki nk muntah! Pitam2 pun slalu kene especially bile tgh stress!

After all I was enjoying my pregnancy time sampailaa lahir si kenit buah hati aku tu. Fareeq Miqael bin Mohd Fahmie Idzul diberi name. Maksud Fareeq is Ketua, Miqael pula is malaikat penjaga rezeki. Asalnye nak letak Fareeq tp mase dlm labor room Hubby dpt transfer keje ke KL so both of we assumed thaat perhaps that's a sign of rezeki baby la so we add Miqael at the back. Plus aku pun suke sbrnye that name. And until now we call our little baby Miqa. Miqa was so tiny when he was born on 21st May 2010 @ 8.34 pm. He was just 2.7 kg! Even his skin pun dry mcm ala kulit Benjamin Button pulak aku tgk ;p Tapi Alhamdulilah after 1 months berat die da bertambah n kulit die dah normal. Mase tu aku sgt happy sbb aku breastfeedkan Miqa even not via directly, kene pump n masukn dlm botol. Mujur parents aku n mentua ade n byk bantu aku.

Today Miqa dah 3 months plus. My favourite time is when nappy & feeding time with miqa. Sangat bahagia bile Miqa senyum2 mase aku nk pakaikan die dypers. Berbunga2 hati aku bile time susu tangan2 die merayap pegang rambut terjuntai aku la, pegang rantai aku la, pegang baju aku la... haishhhhh....
Apepun ragam, senyuman, ketawa, tangisan die segala-galanya bagi aku skrg. Until now, I'm still learning to be a good mother. And hopefully for the 2nd baby (expected to be 4 to 5 years later) I'll be better!

this is love!

First time dalam hidup aku......aku rase aku takkan pernah cinta dia mcm aku cinta sekarang...
and I'm proud to myself for being so tough enough to be far away from him while I'm having his 'little one' inside my tummy....
Thanks Hubby for the love and happiness....

I'm very thankful and syukur to Allah for this gift......

Here we go....

I'm preggy 11 weeks!

What else can I say.......

Dear Baby...

Speechless to see you there, inside my womb...with your tiny little body.....

Mummy is so happy, same goes to papa.... We promise to take care of you ok!

Dont be naughty2 inside there ;p

when

Raya x lama lagi, rasenye excitement dalam jiwa aku x dtg2 pun lg! Dulu kalau raye bersemangat nk buat itu nak buat ini! This year? Xde semangat langsung! Hurm, even kalau radio x ckp pg tadi raya tinggal 4 hari lagi SUMPAH aku x tau pun! 4 hari lagi kejappp je lagi! Gilerlah! Baju raye pun aku xde lagi! Ntahlah perhaps tahun ni 1st raye aku x balik segamat kot! This year turn raye Taman Melawati! Can't imagine macamane rasenye raye di KL! Best ke nanti? Ade sessi ziarah menziarah ke? Ade sessi konvoi2 ke? Ade sessi melawat kubur ke? Aku yg cuak! Ape nak buat malam raye? Tolong mama? Ke balik pesona villa? Gilerlah, mesti pesona villa kosong je sbb everybody mesti balik kg kan??! Ntahlah.....aku yg kelam kabut lebih ni! Relax Relax Fara! Takkanlah ko tak biase bawa diri kat tempat org kan? Dengan family mentua sendiri pun xkanlah ko x biase kan? kan? Ekekekek..... Oklah, kan aku dah cakap aku yg kelam kabut lebih! Redah je la labu......

Actually, aku nk citer pasal lain sbrnye tp tertulis citer psl raye! Ekekek.. alang2 kan! Keje baru ok seem ok lah! Hurm, aku suke scope keje yg x bosan sgt! Byk bende baru aku blajar lah! Keje favourite aku bile ade ads shooting, analyze mock up and voice recording! Itu aku suke! Yg x bestnye...hurm, aku rase aku mcm relax sket kot compare to dulu punye keje, dulu mmg on je keje aku sbb PCM & Gate 5 slalu ade kan? Yg ini as at when je.... hurm, nak2 bile aku just jage Data/Internet kan untuk Business, so x byk sgt lah kot compare to Consumer! Tapi sesekali tu event Consumer aku join la jugak! Hurm..lagi satu aku belajar boss behaviour! Dulu aku rase en rushdan bg direction tersgtlah clear, tp with the new boss here, [perempuan ok boss aku!] aku kene lebih cpt tangkap ape yg die nak! Hurm.....kdg2 tu aku x faham pun direction die tp buat2 faham, kdg2 tu aku tanye 5, 6 kali jugaklah! Eekekekek tapi die cool n baik! Tapi obviuosly lah die bukan kategori boss pompuan yang 'bitch' la....;p

Xpelah fara, skrg ni pun byk bende yang ko blur2 lagi, jargon and term yang ko x faham lg pun melambak! This is not routine work macam keje dulu, this is you work through experience basis! Paling penting ko x boleh patah semangat ok! Doa banyak2 semuanye dipermudahkan Allah.....

Hehehe...ayat sekadar nk menyedapkan hati aku....