Tuesday, December 29, 2009

this is love!

First time dalam hidup aku......aku rase aku takkan pernah cinta dia mcm aku cinta sekarang...
and I'm proud to myself for being so tough enough to be far away from him while I'm having his 'little one' inside my tummy....
Thanks Hubby for the love and happiness....

Thursday, October 29, 2009

I'm very thankful and syukur to Allah for this gift......
Here we go....
I'm preggy 11 weeks!
What else can I say.......

Dear Baby...
Speechless to see you there, inside my womb...with your tiny little body.....
Mummy is so happy, same goes to papa.... We promise to take care of you ok!
Dont be naughty2 inside there ;p

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

when

Raya x lama lagi, rasenye excitement dalam jiwa aku x dtg2 pun lg! Dulu kalau raye bersemangat nk buat itu nak buat ini! This year? Xde semangat langsung! Hurm, even kalau radio x ckp pg tadi raya tinggal 4 hari lagi SUMPAH aku x tau pun! 4 hari lagi kejappp je lagi! Gilerlah! Baju raye pun aku xde lagi! Ntahlah perhaps tahun ni 1st raye aku x balik segamat kot! This year turn raye Taman Melawati! Can't imagine macamane rasenye raye di KL! Best ke nanti? Ade sessi ziarah menziarah ke? Ade sessi konvoi2 ke? Ade sessi melawat kubur ke? Aku yg cuak! Ape nak buat malam raye? Tolong mama? Ke balik pesona villa? Gilerlah, mesti pesona villa kosong je sbb everybody mesti balik kg kan??! Ntahlah.....aku yg kelam kabut lebih ni! Relax Relax Fara! Takkanlah ko tak biase bawa diri kat tempat org kan? Dengan family mentua sendiri pun xkanlah ko x biase kan? kan? Ekekekek..... Oklah, kan aku dah cakap aku yg kelam kabut lebih! Redah je la labu......

Actually, aku nk citer pasal lain sbrnye tp tertulis citer psl raye! Ekekek.. alang2 kan! Keje baru ok seem ok lah! Hurm, aku suke scope keje yg x bosan sgt! Byk bende baru aku blajar lah! Keje favourite aku bile ade ads shooting, analyze mock up and voice recording! Itu aku suke! Yg x bestnye...hurm, aku rase aku mcm relax sket kot compare to dulu punye keje, dulu mmg on je keje aku sbb PCM & Gate 5 slalu ade kan? Yg ini as at when je.... hurm, nak2 bile aku just jage Data/Internet kan untuk Business, so x byk sgt lah kot compare to Consumer! Tapi sesekali tu event Consumer aku join la jugak! Hurm..lagi satu aku belajar boss behaviour! Dulu aku rase en rushdan bg direction tersgtlah clear, tp with the new boss here, [perempuan ok boss aku!] aku kene lebih cpt tangkap ape yg die nak! Hurm.....kdg2 tu aku x faham pun direction die tp buat2 faham, kdg2 tu aku tanye 5, 6 kali jugaklah! Eekekekek tapi die cool n baik! Tapi obviuosly lah die bukan kategori boss pompuan yang 'bitch' la....;p

Xpelah fara, skrg ni pun byk bende yang ko blur2 lagi, jargon and term yang ko x faham lg pun melambak! This is not routine work macam keje dulu, this is you work through experience basis! Paling penting ko x boleh patah semangat ok! Doa banyak2 semuanye dipermudahkan Allah.....

Hehehe...ayat sekadar nk menyedapkan hati aku....

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

white roses for a birthday girl!

Thanks Hubby for everything......
Happy Birthday to me
14th August 1983

Monday, August 10, 2009

sadness of me...

How should I start this post...?I would not to be as detailed as I can because I cannot be able to retrieve all things that happened within a month! What a short term memory that I had! *sigh* And there were lots of things going on......

Where should I start now? What else... my work? I had started my new job with the first assignment of agency brief! Huhuhu..... A little bit nervous while doing this actually but luckily I have a good coolest colleague, Wawa who is always be ringan tulang in helping me to settle the mess up :)

Actually, that’s not the point that I want to stress down in the entry. Hehehe. I was remembered when I was in the happy mode ;D waiting and counting the time to be shifted to A&P, one of the senior manager in PPM (my previous unit) said "awak jgn suka sangat fara. berape lama awak duduk dkt TM ni? Baru kan.. Dkt TM mcm2 boleh berlaku...jgn suka sangat ok!" Wow... for me it was a 'pedas' words la but knowing him as a nice and fatherly man, I still can accept his advice. :)



After all, I don't mind what people say, I don't care.. and I don't bother... At least, I'll be in the line that I should be... *sigh*


Ok, stop talking about work!



I don't feel good in my relationship with Angah lately ni. Ya, after she getting married! That's something wrong somewhere and we were fighting about room! Someone outside there might think what a joke that we were creating all the mess and it getting bigger bigger and bigger.... How pity Angah having a sister like me! On my sight, I was tried to be realistic and it was a joke beb! Ok..ok.. x payah panjangkan cerita... and I would like to say my deepest sorry to her... and I did texted her on that.



Again.....one question.

Did you ever defended your principle so strong you appear rude to your own mother?
I did.
And it is not a nice feeling to have....:(

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

the satisfaction!

I'm counting for my better place...*_*

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

1st anniversay! cepat jee

Actually...dah lame aku nk update pasal 1st anniversay celebration aku n hubby on the last 17th May 09 hari tu. 17hb tu dah lame dah lepas tapi since aku asyik2 postpone sbb nak siapkan keje punya pasal so hari ni baru berkesempatan nak citer pasal 1st anniversay celebration kiteorg!


pejammmmm ceeliiikkkkkkk peeejaaammmmm celikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk aku n famy da setahun jadi suami isteri! Huhuhu... tak banyak beza jadi anak dara dengan bini org ni in my situation la! Still boleh rongeng2 dekat mamak dengan officemates plus boleh balik kg weekend mcm dulu2 gak! Tapi of course lak commitment lagi besar kan! Aku dah tak jadik selfish dah sangat... ;)


Mase 17hb tu, aku amik cuti beb semata2 nak spend the precious time with Famy since Famy kene siapkan project Lumex die tu by end of the month so mmg x dapatlah nak cuti kan! Balik keje, aku ingat nak masak2 kan dinner untuk Famy sempena the anniversary tp Famy kate xyah sbb die nak treat aku makan luar n belanje seafood! He knows well how much I love seafood! hahhahahahah...


And guess.... aku dapat 2 ekor udang kara stim...... besar n aku makan sampai pening2 kepala plus 3 ekor crabs... semua tu aku makan sorang! ;p

the udang stim *yummy*
the masak sambal crab!
To Hubby...selamat ulang tahun pertama perkahwinan... hope kita maintain bahagia mcm sekarang....love you so much!

Monday, May 11, 2009

at last, we got our little hut!

Tulah, setiap yang berlaku pasti ada hikmahnya...Allah knows better. The Almighty has a better alternative route for us. We just need to believe and have faith.
Bila aku nangis dan nangis tambah lagi sakit hati but at the end of the day, He provides me the light... I can smile happily and thanks Him for that....

Thanks Allah for the little hut....
Thanks hubby for the patience and effort...
and Thanks me for the strenghts......

Friday, April 24, 2009

take a break....

Blog satu tempat untuk aku tulis apa yang aku rase, ape yg aku fikir.....yang paling penting aku tulis blog untuk suami aku tau ape yang aku buat since kiteorg x duduk sekali. Dan jauh sekali aku tulis blog untuk mengaibkan sesiape. Aku cuma luahkan ape yang terbuku dlm hati aku dalam kepala aku, dalam jiwa aku tentang ape2 ajelah yang terjadi dalam kehidupan aku seharian. Kalau pun suami aku tak terbace blog ni, at least aku boleh tersenyum dengan membaca semula tulisan tulisan aku... kalau entries nye sedih atau sakit hati, paling tidak aku boleh bernafas dengan baik setelah aku lepaskan semuanye dalam blog! Itu mungkin cara aku la nak release tension aku. Bukankah setiap org ade cara tersendiri nak hiburkan hati masing2 kan?

Rumah? Aku percaya pada istilah 'Rumah ku syurga ku'...'Home Sweet Home'... Tapi ape jadi dengan aku? Pernah tak korang rase perasaan betapa x bestnye balik rumah sendiri? Mesti tak kan sbb dekat RUMAH lah untuk kite relax2, tido, beristirehat dan buat ape2 yang kite suke la without a limitation. Tapi bende ni xde pada aku.. aku x rase itu rumah aku, aku x rase jiwa aku ada dlm rumah itu.... sbb nye? Aku x reti nak tukarkan perasaan aku dlm bentuk ayat! Aku sendiri x tahu mcmane nak explain tentang betapa aku rasa sangat kosong, sunyi dan xde ape2 bile aku balik rumah aku sendiri! Aku x kate semua org dalam rumah itu layan aku buruk, takkkkk...... it's just aku x nampak aku sayang rumah itu, aku x suka duduk di rumah itu! Ya, the exact word is aku rasa kosong! Sedih bukan? Aku jadik sedih sebab aku kalah dengan perasaan aku sendiri. Aku sedih sebab aku x cukup kuat bila aku sorang sbb ikatan perkahwinan tu buat aku jadi manja, mengharap dan bergantung! Kalau lah aku still bujang, aku rase aku tak peduli pun pasal tu semua. Ntahlah, mungkin aku lebih sensitif sekarang! Sensitif seorang isteri, salah ke aku? Aku kene faham keadaan, situasi dan aku kene berkorban??? Berat sebenarnye untuk aku faham keadaan, situasi dan kene berkorban dalam mase setahun ni. Aku rase aku belum cukup sabar untuk itu.......

what a pity woman named me!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Got a NICI

Thanks kak wawa for a cute tortoise name, NICI (tgk kaki die ade tulis NICI)......
Like Gya & kak Huda, NICI had made my day!
Cheers~~~

lawak pukul 4 pagi!

Anda ada masalah cinta? Dail 53334....

Dail punya dail asyik kene reject aje!

hahahahaa... lawak pukul 4 pagi!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

RP Teambuilding!

Pagi!
Satria RP... Satria RP... RP1.... RP1..... TM.... Malaysia......

what can i say about this? so fun n exciting!

hahahha...x boleh diceritakan dengan kata2...semuanye pengalaman menarik!
oklah..let's conclude the whole experiences mase aku dengan kawan2 dekat sane [luckily, aku , gya n ila satu batch, sorry to ennie x dpt join our batch, xpe ennie punye batch pun lagi gempak nanti;( ]

best experiences:
1. dapat team kepala gila2 - en jusoh, zaha, roslan, mr deva, suha, kak sham (mujur she was also gila2 n sporting!), shah SPDF & Jeff PD.
2. Bamboo rafting xtvt - i was really enjoy this, so fun! we were champion tau! overall, aku dah x takut air dah, water confident aku dah tinggi sket la! ;)
3. Junggle Trekking - banyak woo kalori aku terbakar ni, berpeluh2.....
4. Karaoke - time ni best sbb aku, gya, ila, suha, arai dpt karaoke free tau, tapi kalau si din tu x join lagi best kot! hahahha....mula2 nmpk mamat ni cam cecomel je tp kalau layan sgt poning wooo...;)
5. Flying Fox - aku suka ni tapi sayang aku x dpt nk lunjur kaki sbb injured mase junggle trekking, so kaki aku terkangkang mase buat ni! gayat sehhhhh... aku menjerit sakan je la!
6. Roomates yang best - roomates aku gya, huda n wawa.... best woo! semua nye baik hati, jenis x kisah n pemurah....barang2 bole share2 tau! sharing is caring! ;)

bad experience:
1. Mase junggle trekking aku jatuh terhentak mase nak turun bukit... sakit sampai skrg terasa lagi! nak drive pun susah....nak buang air n 'yak' pun susah! mood aku sikit x best la sbb sakit ni. ingat nanti balik kg nk g urut!

hurm....overall aku sangat happy dekat Marina Cove, Lumut.... tapi tu lah bende nak jadik kan, kalau aku lebih hati2 mase junggle trekking tu maybe aku x jatuh kot.... sakit woo....

psst: nanti aku share all the fun pics k!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

It's hurting me, I'm sorry......

I didn't know why the hell I was there. Talking to a person that I did not meet for a long long time and I put the expectation to believe on his words. I guess I'm doing better then! He said:

Begitulah jugak dengan hidup kita nih, jawapan hidup, kebahagiaan dan kesusahan, apa-apa ajelah yang kita cari selama ini, semuanya tuh berada di mana-mana. Terpulang pada kita nak mencarinya.

So then I talk to myself as I persuade my little adik...
I guess I expected better.I only hoped for a "How are you doing?"Or a "Are you well?"Or a "How's work?"I guess I hoped too much. I shouldn't said something hurting you. And it's will hurting me as well! But you are so darling to me.... You are my husband...

For that.... I would like to ask for your forgiveness dear... I'm so sorry....

Sunday, April 5, 2009

reminder to me!

I don't actually have time to be lounging and blogging, so I'll do this entry in a point form. hehehe just to update and remind myself! ;)

tralallaaa..

I'm just came back from the Business Plan Workshop @ Colmar Tropicale, Bkt Tinggi! It was interesting but plain for me! First experience and average for me! Hahaha.. however, I got to know many people there....;p

*Blink Blink*

I'm at kerteh, right now!

Tralallala......

Tommorow will be back to KL and as usual come to office on monday! Oh, what a blues monday soon!

Tralallala.......

I need to clean up all the filing and discuss with my boss on the new structure, specifically on my job scope! Oh, what a boring job!

Hurm...Ngee..Ngeee....

I'm thinking to go back kampung next week.... Ibu said Atuk is feeling not well! Watch me get so nervous I can’t sleep. Allah, please give the strenght to Atuk..amennn...

I think that’s all the big news I have. I can’t think of anything else. How bout some small news?

Hahahaha....

I cooked meggi laksa for Famy and he liked it very much! Mmmmmmmm..............

I saw my picture taken at Sara's wedding (sara is my cousin) and then I realized on my double chin and rounded face! I'm becoming fat now! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo..........

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

the best momment is a study time!

An old memory at IIUM got me in a longing (big smile ;D).

I still remember the momment... Lea, Bed, Na, Linda, Him as well as my Bosnian mates, Nermin, Meldina, Dzenan & Mirza were there (bigger smile ;DD). We need to organize an event of the Professional Etiquette Course for our final assessment.

In the same morning smell, same person, same thought but different time, we were bond together as PR Colleagues. I miss that each momment. The momment we had been scolded by Sir Sheikh Alwi, one of our PR instructor, all of us still keeping a big grin though we hated him so much! Among of us, Nermin had shown his most hatred to Sir Alwi. My mind still can captured kinda off naughty and irritating faces made up by him while Sir Alwi shouted 'bodoh!' 'stupid'! 'bloody hell' to us! Ekekekekekekeke........

That's only some part of the old chapter that I wanna share..... ;p

The point is Lea and me do miss Nermin so much. We were closed with him during the time. Ya, after night class, three of us will drove to Destina, Burger King or else McD. We learned Bosnian Language, sharing the secrets, thoughts & ideas together. To me, Nermin is just Nermin. He's not arrogant like an ordinary IIUM European Students, somehow still gentlemen, confident and have sense of humour. He used to drive me out for supper while my feet was injured though I knew he just wanna copying our (me & lea) notes at the same time for the exam! ;) I still can remember during the exam time again, me & Lea were awake along the night to do revision, he will texting either both of us just to disturb and asking silly silly question like 'hey, do u think it's gonna rain tomorrow?' or like 'fara likes purple and u Lea what color you like most?'! We knew he did'nt want us to study and score in the paper! (biggest smile ;DDD)

And the truth is..... he found me in the facebook yesterday! We just-in-time having a chit chat! OMG..... he asked about Lea! When did both of us got married! And he laughed when I informed Lea's baby name is Danish,
'hey she should put Nermin!'
'Oh no... Mohd Nermin?!!' I said..... 'Hey boy, when you wanna get married?' I asked.
'The lifestyle and culture got me in a dilemma!' he replied
'Blur! Whut do u mean?'
'Here is not like M'sia, it's hard to find virgin girl anymore!'
I laughed more...... 'Whutt? U r acting like a malay man now ha...so do u think u r still virgin too?'
'Of course not! ;) but for me virginity is important for a muslim lady, it's a sign of loyalty and obviously i wanna have a loyal wife!'
he continued 'At my place, it's common if a wife having an affair with another man!'
Ya..... I still remember Nermin's word 3 years back, 'There is many Muslims at Bosnia but rarely to see the one who can perform prayer'.

However we're actually having a great online time! Seem like he's happy to be a PR Practitioner there.... Best of luck to you Ner!

psst:/ i'll try to search his pic and upload it here ok!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

water rafting @ sg hulu s'gor

Best & Enjoy....

itu yg bole aku luahkan after pergi merempit dengan geng2 ofis, gya, ila, ennie, apek & hubby! yang buat aku surprise, bile famy yang at the first place x brape nk pegi tibe2 balik dari berwater rafting terus tersuka pulak nk pegi lagi! hahahahhaa......

kat bawah ni pics2 sengal kiteorg mase rafting dekat sg hulu selangor! ;p
[Bai tgh pakaikan life jacket! aku mcm pumpkin dah!]

[Wah sempat posing sementara tunggu famy & apek parking kete]
[Khusyuknye dengar Bai bagi briefing]
[Lepas briefing...posing lagik!]
[bermula la xpdc berwater rafting ;p]
[kayuh jang kayuh....]
[ila mendayung penuh profesional]
[ngerinye.....]
[erk...terjumpe waterfall pulak! pose kejap...]
[sempat mandi tu lagi...]
okla...overall aku n famy mmg happy n fun sbb kiteorg dah lame x buat xtvt outdoor mcm ni, lagi2 dengan kwn2... last hari tu pegi picnic dekat sg congkak dengan family mentua! hurm, hopefully, next time around ade lagi xtvt bersama mcm ni lagi k ;p
psst:/ me thinking for a wonderful camping at the beach!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

do we deserve this?

Now I'm speechless, over the edge,
I'm just breathless
I never thought that
I'd catch this love bug again
Hopeless, head over heels in the moment
I never thought that
I'd get hit by this love bug again......

This song was popular on the radio last 2 weeks ago. It has not been on the radio lately. Not only did I hear it the other night when I was feeling down, but early in this morning, Famy and I were curled up in bed and his clock-radio went off.
It was that song again!
I smiled as I laid in his arms, kissed him on his neck, and went back to sleep.

That song keeps getting better and better for me.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

empathy??

Aku terjumpa sekeping nota. Nota yang ditulis di atas kertas A4 biasa. Ada maksud tersirat, yang penting aku betul2 capture the last words esspecially perkataan 'empathy' tu. Can we do feel empathy for them, rather than blaming for their mistakes??



Kau kate aku kekasih hingga ke akhir hayat!

Tapi ape jadi bila ade krisis mcm ni!

Kau senyap, Kau diam

Bila aku minta jawapan

Bila aku jelaskan segala-galanya

Ada kau terima?

Mungkin kau anggap aku beri alasan,

cari kesalahan...cari masalah....emosi tak bertempat

melampau batas....

Aku mengaku aku memang seperti yang kau anggap!

Tapi ada kau pernah fikir macamane aku boleh

keluarkan perkataan macam tu?

Bukankah setiap perubahan itu ada penyebabnya!

Aku berubah sebab apa? Aku berani berkata mcm tu sebab apa??

Susah ke kau nak ade perasaan empathy dekat aku???



[Empathy= Identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives]

cicada syndrome

cicada in malay we called cengkerik/riang2.....

aku rase aku terkena sydrome yang aku reka sendiri name die! sydrome cicada! sigh ;)

kenapa?

sebab cengkerik kan sifatnya siang2 die senyap tapi bile malam ligat pulak berbunyinye kan!

aku benci bila hari2 bila datang office aku kene pikir mcm2 bende yang berserabut dalam kepala ni! dari A sampai Z..... i hate this part! really hate!

ape relation nye dengan cicada sydrome tu? sebab waktu siang aku senyap, aku happy buat x tau tapi bila tiba malam semua masalah tadi bertimpa2 menyemak kat kepala aku ni sampai aku x bole tido! mcm bunyi cengkerik tu......bising giler! buat aku terjage n buat aku menangis......

cutttttttttttttttttttt!!!!

drama je la, lawak pukul 4 pagi semalam!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A Dozen Reasons You are a Happy Person

We generally are happy people, and we must train our brain to think so. hehehe...
We often overlook how we feel. The small things we do usually show that we are just happy people, but we don't realize that. If you did at least a few things on this list, you are a happy person. You just need to take them into account. All these I got from an article by DC Sean.

You Laugh Out Loud (i think this is Me!)
When you laugh, your body pump out endorphins, the chemicals that boost energy and alleviate depression, and the stress hormones will also drop.

You Drink Plenty of Water
You don't have to drink 8 glasses of water each day. As long as you keep hydrated, drink water with meals, and when you are thirsty, you are doing just fine.

You are In Tune with Nature
It can lower stress and promote a sense of well being. Even if you just sit on a park bench for 15 minutes and simply being outdoor is a healing act in itself.

You Hang Out with Friends
When you are troubled and you unload your burden to your friends, your body and mind will feel lighter as though the problem is solved when in fact it is not.

You Eat Vegetables and Fruits
The darker and more colorful fruits and vegetables like broccoli, red peppers, blueberries, and banana, the more nutrients they contain.

You Wash Your Hands
Flu, colds, and other common illnesses are spread through touching. Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and rub them in warm water for at least 20 seconds.

You Floss Your Teeth
Not only you ward off gum disease, you also keep your beautiful smile intact even if you only floss once a week. Research also suggests that having gum disease may increase your odds of cardiovascular disease, stroke and diabetes.

You Practice Deep Breathing
Deep breathing cuts stress instantly. Try six slow breaths per minute to lower blood pressure.
You Get Enough SleepHaving enough sleep enhances your mood, memory, and problem-solving ability. On an average, seven to eight hours of sleep nightly is ideal.

You Have a Pet (sadly to say i never have pet!)
It doesn't matter how terrible your day was, you forget it as soon as you pet your furry friend. It gives you instant stress reduction.

You Work Your Brain
When you keep your brain sharp by learning or doing something new, you promote longevity.
You are Loved Realizing that your family and friends love you, release feel-good chemicals like serotonin.

We do these things almost every day, but we don't think that they make us a happy person. Think about it, if we are not happy people, we would not bother to take care of ourselves so well, or pay attention to what we do. We just need to have gratitude in small things. In other word, I can say why do we make our life so complicated, right? Just fikir lebih kurang je la kan! We are generally happy people, and we must train our brain to think so.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

sexual harassment

Aderlah satu cerite nk share. Pengalaman paling ngeri jugak la dlm hidup aku. Even aku selalu ade banyak pengalaman yang menakutkan tapi yang ini aku rase phobia n trauma jugakla...

Kisahnye mcm ni semalam aku dinner dengan family in laws aku la cam biase dekat Medan Melawati tu. Dalam kul 9 lebih gitu after dinner, mama n papa kene g klinik dulu sbb miera (adik ipar aku) sakit mate so aku terpaksa balik dengan botak (adik ipar aku jugak) n along (biras aku @ wife botak) since aku kene amik kete aku dekat umah mentua. so sampai2 rumah mentua aku tu emil pulak buat hal. emil tu anak dieorg la. baby lagi la dah setahun lebih umurnye. budak kecik tu kalau buat hal mmg ganas jugakla. tambah2 pulak along yang tengah sarat mengandung anak kedua tu x larat pulak nak keluar kereta, nak melayan emil lagi. botak masuk umah mentua aku tu sebab nk amik barang so sementara botak dekat dalam umah, aku temankan lah along n melayan emil yang tengah meragam tu sebab kejap lagi dieorg nak balik umah dieorg sendiri kan. emil nak pegi kat kete aku. so aku pun dukung la die ke kereta aku. By the time, aku mcm perasan ade sorang indian guy dok lalu lalang depan kawasan perumahan mentua aku tu mmg aku x syak ape2 sbb aku n along fikir budak2 kawasan umah tu gak saje jalan2 amik angin. aku letak emil dekat driver seat bagik die peluang pegang stereng kete aku tu. ha senyap die sambil gelak duk tekan2 lampu signal la, viper la hon la... aku perati kan die dari pintu kete aku sesambil pegang jugak la tangan die, takut die jatuh! then yang surprise nye bile aku pusing badan aku, indian guy tadi betul2 ade belakang aku. spontan je die cuit bahu aku. aku menjerit macam org kena rogol la! berani die cuit aku kan! indian guy tu terkejut (aku rase die terkejut sbb jeritan aku tu mmg teramat kuat). emil nangis sbb terkejut mak ngah die jerit kuat sgt, along yang di dalam kete tengah tahan2 sakit tu pun kuar dari kete terus die tanye 'ape, kenape kenape?'. hurm budak indian yang tercegat lagi depan aku tu terus blah. pastu kuar la pulak jiran sebelah, bobo, baba fatin n botak pun terlari2 kuar sebab suasana cam kecoh. sebelum blah, budak indian tu bole la kan tunjuk 'anu' die kat aku ngan along! saba je la kan......... pastu botak n bobo g kejar budak india tu n suruh aku,along n emil masuk umah. kelam kabut kiteorg masuk umah siap kunci lagi! aku terus minum air sbb kaki aku mengigil2. emil lak x habis2 nangis. dia cam tau je ape dah jadi! along yang sakit perut sbb die tgh sarat benar nk bersalin tu terus hilang sakitnye.......... after that along call papa n ceritekan ape dah jadi, few minutes after that papa balik, then botak pulak balik. botak ckp die x jumpe budak tu lari dekat mane!

since budak tu x buat pape dekat aku n along so kiteorg x jadik report police. tapi papa dah call kawan die, police area melawati la jugak, suh ronda2 kawasan perumahan tu sbb hari tu pun ade kes ragut pakai parang dekat depan rumah. kene hati2 jugak even kat depan umah sekarang pun dah x selamat.

so kiteorg buat kesimpulan, budak laki india tu either gile seks or nk ragut aku sbb mase aku dukung emil aku pegang handbag sekali. mungkin pas dengar jeritan aku x jadik die nak meragut nye kan.(bobo cakap aku jerit satu lorong kawasan perumahan tu dengar ;)) yelah lepas aku jerit tu, terkejut die sampai die sempat nak urut2 dada die, pulak tu si emil lak nangis then dengar pulak suare along lagi minta tolong... ha...tak jadiklah agenda die tu kan!

tulah aku rase budak india tu x profesional la nk meragut or nak mencabul ke cam kelakar pun ade... tapi aku rase nak gelak sbrnye bile die tunjukkan anu die tu, cam x kene je tp nasib baik malam kan so xdelah clear mane aku nampak tu! ekekekekekekekekekekekekeke......

apepun, sampai tengah malam tau kaki aku menggeletar x hilang2. lepas papa suh aku amik air sembayang n bace ayat kursi byk kali baru release seket.

so moral of the story, kalau org nak ragut ke, cabul ke atau ape2 cubaan yang merbahaya kan diri jerit kuat2 mcm aku ni ha.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

when i am alone....

10 Things that I did when I felt lonely:

1. Watching movies.
I had watched Bride War at GSC, Slumdog Millionaire, Revolutionary Road and 7 Pounds at home. ;)

2. Window Shopping
I had surveyed for my glasses at Mid Valley! Will buy it next month :)

3. Smiling & Talking to strangers at the lifts.
A makcik had approched me at the office's lift yesterday when I smiled and 'hi' her, she asked me where was the HR Department, seen the office's lift is complicated so I brought the makcik to HR by myself. And she thanked me millions times. Sigh ;)

4. Grasping for hugs, but always wanting another hug, I want another one, and another...
I hug my bolster every night!

5. Calling someone closer to you regularly!

I called ibu 2 times everday - just to ask what did ayah cook for her on that day! sigh ;) plus talking to my husband more than 10 times a day via phone not more than 10 minutes, sometimes he called me just to say 'i miss u la' then i replied 'ok la tu' (off course with sparkling smile) and we hang off the phone. After a few hours, I called him back to asked 'what are you doing?', he replied 'keje la syg!' then I said 'ok!' and that's it!
What a simple and weird conversation kan... but we know that we are always remembering each other!

6. Calling friends!
I had called my old collegue during the university's time, Oda and we talked about half an hour. It makes me feel release....

7. Being strong inside out!
This part is difficult! People will see me strong in surface because of the character that I possess. Always smile and 'hi' here and there....sigh!
The fact is I am a sensitive person and I am hardly trying my best to be tougher and stronger now....;)

8. Recharging the memories
I look over an old albums during my childhood at the hometown and the teenage time at school and campus.....the old memories flaming in my head..it's fun! Ops..i saw my wedding albums as well!

9. Hanging out with girlfriends.
I met fizah and lea last few days ago and it was great! It recharged my batteries! I feel like I have my bestfriends back!
Now, looking forward to date with officemates pulak!

10. Remembering, yes remembering, ALLAH is always here.
I realized whenever I'm alone, I pray for more than 5 times a day, which makes me feel good and comfort!


Dear me don't be sad....
I don't mind to be alone, comfortless and cold as there is a time will come to me to be in that condition in just one blessed day. sigh ;)...Ya..when ALLAH asked Izrail to take me out from this universe and stay in the grave until the day of judgement!!!! Of course I can't asked Famy to accompany me right!
Wah tibe2 rase scary....


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Being a Mother

Yesterday, i was visited Lea at her home. She had delivered a little baby boy. What's a surpise when Lea said she managed to deliver her baby in a normal way without epidural :) Lea said "Tuhan je yang tahu betapa sakitnya bersalin ni tapi bile tengok anak sendiri sakit tu tibe2 hilang!" - I knew Lea was saying truth. Knowing her during the campus life, she always strive for her right, focus, helpful and crazy! I still can't believe when looking her pale stunning face napping on the mattress with a little baby boy beside her. Huh, OMG time is changing so fast.... I felt like only yesterday recognizing her in the college! sigh :)

Look's Lea's baby! His name is Danish Darwisy. Isn't he's cute and adorable!? I love his skin!

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery... but I guess the hardest part being a mother is nurturing and educate them in a good way!It's not easy as Lea whispered to me "Aku takut sebenarnya nak membesarkan anak, am I be a good mother to Danish?". I smiled and replies "You will!"..... Deepest inside my heart, I can't wait to be a mummy soon! :)

Thursday, January 15, 2009

sinful act :(

Did you ever defended your sister so strong you appear rude to your own mother?

I did.

And it is not a nice feeling to have....:(

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

fuseball & pool + conflict

"Foosball, also known as table football, fusball, fuseball, table soccer, taca-taca, footine or baby foot, is a table-top sport that is based on association football (soccer)."

Definition kat atas ni aku sengaja google sebab aku baru main permainan ni semalam, dengan gya n ila dekat mid valley! Fun tapi kalau aku tahu main lagi fun kot! Terjerit2 je lebih! ekekeke...biasalah aku! ketawa banyak dari main nye pun! aku cam teruja jugak sebab biasenye mase kat uia dulu aku just tengok member2 foreigner main kat kiteorg punye kolej, x rase teringin nak join sebab biasenye yang suke chop table soccer tu orang2 arab so dieorg kan mcm agak2 perkasa gitu..... so mmg xde intention la aku nk menyebok ikut main same! sekadar jeling2 n usha2 je! tapi fun gak rupenye! i should try it again! aku bisik dlm hati nanti aku mesti dtg lagi! kos permainan ni pun murah je, 2 games 4 hengget! mmg ikut 'par' la!

Berbalik ke citer main fuseball ni, gya kate nak main lagi so bile kiteorg nak continue adela pulak pak2 arab yang dah sibuk menunggu turn kat table fuseball tu, aku cam ralat je patut pun dieorg sibuk je mase kiteorg tgh syok main rupenye menunggu turn! Then Ila buat decision nk blanje main pool! Walala.... There was another game yang aku rase aku main bersungguh2 (even x score pun)! ekekekkeke ;) yang paling aku suke part Ila main pool pakai baju kurung, Ila please take note ok, I'm not trying to make fun of it tapi aku sangat suka n bangga ade member yang selamba macam ko, give 5 la Ila! Time Ila nak pegang kayu pool tu aku rase ade kelembutan di sebalik keganasan itu! Gadis melayu gitu! aku rase kiteorg jadi perhatian dekat situ. yang main pool kat situ stock bebudak sekolah n mat rempit plus ade jugak mat salleh tetibe group kiteorg bertiga masuk hurm cam semua pepandang gitu. tapi aku rase org bukannye capture pasal Ila main pool pakai baju kurung, tapi pasal cara aku pegang kayu pool tu kot... Pool boy kat situ cam tergelak gitu... Ala2 macam nak sodok bendasing tersangkut kat sink! hahahhahahahaha... aku rase la!
at last pool boy tu ajar kiteorg cara nak main dengan betul! menyesal lak jarang temankan Famy main snoker or pool dulu, kalau tak mesti aku dah exempted! kalau tak exempted at least cara aku pegang kayu dah betul la! ekekekekke....

lepas main pool, Ila chow dulu sbb nak jumpe mak die dari T'ganu. aku n Gya g makan dekat Carl's Jr Burger. Punyerla sedap fries die! Burger pun stok kenyang sampai pagi la jwbnye! big n delicious! Thanks Gya bagi aku explore bende2 baru dlm hidup! Sigh ;0

pas makan, terpegi tgk wayang la pulak... ekekekeke... 4 Christmases! Citer die so-so la tapi aku jadi eager nak tgk sbb ade reese witherspoon tu, yang part vince vaughn tu aku cam letih sket sbb dari dulu aku perhatikan cara die ckp meng'annoying' kan... pada aku la... ekekekekkekekke.

overall aku cam rase best sbb smlm aku buat bende yang aku rase boleh membuatkan aku 'hidup'! ;)

~aku tak kan biarkan konflik dalam satu sudut hidup aku tu menganggu gugat pemikiran dan emosi aku...aku rase dengan cara macam ni aku akan lari sekuat yang aku mampu untuk mengelak nya.. i choose to avoid and avoid and avoid...rather than say it frankly because it's hurting~

Friday, January 9, 2009

kisah minggu ke-2 bulan Februari

citer 1

aku mmg terkenal di kalangan ahli keluarga dan teman sekolah pasal aku yang memang penakut dengan lipas. Jangan la tunjuk bende alah binatang tu kat aku punyer la menjerit jerit mcm kene sawan. Kisahnye mase aku sekolah rendah dulu pergilah umah auntie dekat JB, umah die dulu tu mmg banyak lipas!(skrg duduk umah lain yg lagi upgrade la). Mule2 tu aku x brape kisah sangat sbb bende binatang tu sekadar merayap2 x kacau pun hidup aku. Tapi bile satu hari tu sedang aku mandi kat bilik air, boleh tak 3,4 ekor bende alah binatang tu boleh terjatuh dari dinding n landing kat badan aku..... uisskkkkkkk.... geli geleman sbb dah rase pergerakan kaki dieorg tu kat kulit aku yang mulus ni ;) maklumlah mase tu budak lagi mandi pun manelah reti nak berkemban ke ape ke kan so mmg terang2 la aku rase bende binatang tu nampak setiap urat tubuh badan aku yang sunti dulu tu... hahahhaha.... tapi mmg betul aku kuar kosong gitu mase bende alah binatang tu jatuh kat badan aku.... menjerit2 suh auntie aku halaukan bende alah binatang tu.. Ya ampun sampai sekarang aku boleh ingat rasenye bile kulit aku berlaga dengan kaki bende alah binatang tu... huh, mcm ntah lah mcm kene cabul je kort! ekekekke... sejak itu aku mmg pangkah bende alah binatang tu! giler psycho ni! aku mmg sungguh2 geli dengan bende alah binatang tu! uiskkkk....

so nak dikaitkan dengan kisah aku ni, bende alah binatang tu aku asyik terserampak je kat aprtment umah aku since minggu ni. Memule ade kat dinding hall, aku menjerit! pastu ade kat bilik semayang, aku menjerit lagi! pastu kat bilik air, skali lagi aku menjerit! Pastu boleh pulak jumpe dekat bilik tido aku, kali ni aku menangis! merayu2 mintak siT* halaukan.... bile siT* dah halaukan die boleh lak sound kat aku 'tulah ko x tutup tingkap nak tido, lipas ni masuklah umah'! panasssssss je aku dengar!

OOOOOOOOOoooo yang die tu x tutup pintu dapur, x tutup pintu hall...x tutup tingkap bilik die xpe lak! nak sound2 aku lak! mmg lah ko jarang bukak tingkap bilik ko sbb bilik ko air cond! bilik aku kalau x bukak tingkap x ke hapak masam bau die!

tapi aku x tercakap pun ayat tu kat die... aku jadik bengang terus kuncikan diri dalam bilik! lagi teruk rupenye aku menangis! menangis kene sound pasal bende alah binatang tu! mmg stupid!



citer 2

aku cam bengang je dengan boss aku... aku tgk email pun dah senget mcm ni.






citer 3

aku terhappy bile kuar ngan budak2 ni... hurm..you all make my day la! Gya, Ennie & Ila... thanks sebab..... sebab tulah thanks sebab ajak aku kuar la.. (jadi blushing lak!)

Monday, January 5, 2009

dedication to myself and friends!

"Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it" -

Aku rase tahun 2009 nanti tahun mencabar kot buat aku! yela why am I said like that? Sebab masuk2 tahun 2009, wallet famy hilang kene ragut! Habis credit card and ATM Banks and few important documents dalam wallet die tu lesap! Then.....kereta kembara pulak hilang... 4 pasang kasut, blouse MNG, MAC n Clinique Make up and CD gambar reception aku pun hilang jugak!

Bile pikir semula penangannye macam kene hempap sebijik batu yang besar macam kereta MPV je rasenye...... aku terpenyek n tertimbus sikit ke dalam tanah! Ibaratnye macam tu laaa....

Kan ke ujian tu kan? i feel good when i think it was a sign from God! Tuhan nak beri peringatan tentang kealpaan aku tu! Possible!

Tapi pedulik ape aku tentang cabaran dan dugaan.... aku rase Insyallah aku kuat n tetap redha n redha n redha...sebagaimana aku redha cara hidup aku n famy yang style 'weekly spouse' ni!

As stated in the above statement, i believe that i must forget all the nigthmares, mistakes, failures and those slip up things......by follows the flow of life... bunyinye mcm xde wawasan je tapi tulah sekarang yang penting kene pentingkan bende yang penting dulu! ekekekeke......